Yesterday Kanna started his first day of Year one at his new school. Unlike last year, he was a little nervous this time. He talked less, answered only when he was asked, made less eye contact, but he didn’t say that he was nervous or anything of that sort. Yes, he is growing up and he is learning to keep calm regardless of how he is feeling.
I, on the other hand, was very nervous. I didn’t show my nervousness either, I think so, I hope so! It’s a new school. Most of the kids know each other already. And to top it off, Kanna started two days after the school opened. This time my husband was also having the same thoughts as mine. So I had company. Sending our precious little one off to school is probably one of the difficult tasks we have to deal with as parents. Yeah, I get the free time. I get quiet time, absolutely quiet. In fact, it is pin drop silence here other than for the tapping of the keys. I enjoy that quietness. I love my solitude. But, on the other side, it is a reminder that Kanna is not here. I don’t have to go to the kitchen every ten minutes to get the cookies or the juice or the water. Time is mine and mine alone right now. And so I started typing this post yesterday and stopped at the first paragraph. I couldn’t write anything more with his thoughts weighing me down. So I did the next best thing I do when I am stressed out. Cleaning!
In the evening, when I picked him up from the school, he seemed happy. I asked about his day and he answered, “Awesome!” He told me that some of the kids didn’t let him play with them, one of them didn’t share a toy with him, but another girl taught him to do hula hoop. He told that a kid in his class was so funny, that he was the funniest kid ever and made him laugh so much, but he forgot to ask that kid’s name! He was happy on how it all went.
When I look at it objectively, I feel calm and rational. I feel peaceful that he is dealing with all sorts of situations rather rationally. He understands that this is a new school and there might be delays in making friends. I know that he is not all happy about the situation, but he is dealing with it very well. I imagine how happy he could have been had he went back to his old school, and I feel sad that we are depriving him of his happiness (not intentional though), that unadulterated, effortless joy of meeting your friends after summer vacation. He kept talking about his friends throughout his stay at home. And now, he is dealing with changes and trying to make new friends. I know that he is going to be okay and that he is going to make friends soon. I know that this is only part of life. I know that all this is okay. But..
When we reached home he exclaimed, “Amma, you did a good job here!” Told ya, I do a great cleaning job when I am stressed out. And I have a great kid who notices every little thing. Yeah, it’s going to be okay! 🙂
Linking with #MicroblogMondays