Wednesday, September 18, 2019
Random Thoughts

#MondayMusings – Convenience over comfort!

Every morning when I drop Kanna in the school, I see a lot of strollers with kids in it, waiting outside the main door alone. Some of them cry for mama, some of them are looking for their moms, some of them know that their mom will be back soon. The moms are inside the classroom to drop their elder children.

I was shocked to see this sight at first. I mean, I am still not over it, but now it is a usual scene.

We hear a lot of deaths because the child was left in the hot car while the parent went inside the shop a minute or two to do the chores. We judge, why does the parent do that? Don’t they know better? Now after watching these little children waiting for their parents outside the school door, I came to the conclusion that it is convenience over comfort.

I feel bad to see the kids waiting for their parents. They are small you know, 2 to 3-year-olds. I still feel that, is it that hard to take the little one along with you inside the classroom while you say bye to your elder kid. But then what do I know? I have only one. And I don’t experience the difficulties in juggling two or more kids. If and when I have two kids, I would like to see me not resorting to this sort of convenience which could affect my child in any way. But who knows how I will be doing!

These are the sort of stuff where I find myself torn between what is right and wrong. As long as everything goes fine, it is fine. But the moment something goes wrong, we get judgemental, self-blaming, blame games, and all that starts.

Going after convenience may not be suitable for everyone. What do you think?

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Monday Musings

Today I am co-hosting #MondayMusings by Write Tribe with Corinne at Everyday Gyaan. Do add your links for #MondayMusings in the linky below.


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Vinitha Dileep
<p>An IT Professional, an author, an accidental blogger, a lover of words and a recent self-care addict. I love stringing words together, which I lovingly call a poem. You can read my affair with words at Void Thoughts(http://thevoidthoughts.com) and Reflections..(https://www.vinithadileep.com)</p>

31 thoughts on “#MondayMusings – Convenience over comfort!

  1. I am also the mother of one child. I wondered a lot how mothers could juggle the needs of several children, especially as they grew old enough to be in school and sports activities. Convenience wins out a lot, I think, especially if the parent works outside the home (as I did), too – especially in food preparation.

    1. Yes, convenience wins. It doesn’t matter how many kids we have, managing them is not easy and convenience wins. Managing 2 or more kids is beyond my imagination right now. 🙂

  2. I wonder why they don’t go in together too. I would hate to leave a little one alone in this day and age. What if they tipped the stroller? I think the little one would enjoy saying goodbye to his/her older sibling. I agree with you on this.

    1. Yes, I have those concerns too. I think the mothers are not planning to stay inside for that long. They might have their own points for their decision.

  3. You are right in thinking that we who have one kid cannot understand the struggles and adjustments parents 2 or more kids have to undergo. There are cultural differences between us and the parents visiting Kanna’s school. If I were in that situation I would have unstrapped the smaller child from the stroller, carried him/her inside the school to see off the elder one.
    I see a good change here. Congratulations for getting yourself a self-hosted blog url 😀

    1. Yes, that’s what I think I will do too, Anamika. There are other moms who take their smaller ones inside. But we all are different and we make choices depending on what is right for us. I knowingly picked this topic because I wanted to stay clear from the judgemental side while raising my views. And I am glad that I did. 🙂

  4. I’d hate to leave my little one unattended. I’d like to think I’d never do that. But since I became a mother I’ve learnt never to say never. The biggest lesson I’ve learnt is to not be judgemental of other moms. With twins I didn’t have to make that kind of decision – we were/are a three-way package deal ;-).

  5. I wonder about this too, when I see parents walking on the road and putting their kids on the traffic side. I want to go and tell them to put them on the pavement side – but what do I know I’m not a Mom.

    1. It is safer to keep the kid on the pavement side. But telling the parents that may not end up good, right? No one likes to be told.

  6. I think I would have taken the little one along,… but guess I was a kind of a helicopter-mum when my kids were small… Great post – made me think:-)

    1. I liked that you are being honest here, Eli. Yes, a helicopter parent can never leave their child alone, can they? 🙂

  7. I don’t think I would’ve left my kid in the car.. its not right – and I’m kind of paranoid about snatchers, hot cars, suffocation and what not!

    1. We all make our choices, don’t we? Only thing whatever be our choice, we are responsible for it and we have to live with it. 🙂 I know I can’t leave mine alone too, but then I leave him alone during his bath time. So who knows!

  8. You can really not say why a little child was by themselves. I have two children and though I am cautious to not leave them unattended, I am sure there must be instances when this must have happened. Like you rightly pointed out, it takes nothing to judge another. Perhaps it makes us feel superior. If anything that being a parent has taught me is to go a little easy on other parents. I liked how you shared your thoughts here, Vinitha.

    1. Yes, being a parent we should not start judging other parents for their choices. Aptly said, Rachna. You know, when my baby was a newborn, I used to play farmville while feeding him, just to make sure that I was awake. I am sure, if someone else saw that, they would have judged the life out of me. I was away in another country with no help other than my husband. I did what I saw fit. 🙂 I am liking the responses for this post. I can see how hard it is to comment on a topic like this without sounding judgemental. 🙂

  9. Hey, you made a sensible point and it makes sense to carry the child along. Convenience shouldn’t be an option when one has children. Taking the child along, I feel, strengthen the parent and sibling bond.

    1. What an outsider thinks sensible may not be feasible for the parent. Maybe that’s why the kids are left outside. A million worries wash over me when I see those kids, but I am trying not be judgemental. 🙂

    1. Even I haven’t left mine alone, I think so. 🙂 But those are the luxuries of having a single child, right? Between, I never knew that you are a mom, Payal.

  10. I am a mother of two and I can say for sure that most of this would not be because of convenience or comfort. May be the school doesn’t allow them to take the strollers inside. May be they don’t allow the children to be taken inside. I am not defending the parents, but there might be reasons behind it. When I used to go to pick up my elder child, I had to take the younger one with me. And picking up a child aged about 2 or 3 can be really tedious. I’m sure you know this. And the older child having been away all day, wants you to pick them up too. I’m just citing reasons. There may be totally different reasons too. It is easier for us to make judgements when we are on this side of the fence. I loved the way you made your point and yet remained non-judgemental.

    1. Yes, Rekha, strollers are not allowed inside but little ones are allowed. Yes, I was trying to get past my judging nerves. And I am glad that I did. These are controversial topics, right? Unless we are in that situation we never know why someone did what they did. And we throw judging glances. It never hurts to think from the other person’s side too, right. I am glad you understood what I was trying to say. You know it is an on-going battle for me to stay non-judgemental. As humans, we are wired to be judgemental, right? Glad to have you here, Rekha. 🙂

  11. I don’t have kids so I don’t even know what to say. I see my friends struggling with just one, I can’t imagine how difficult it must be when you have two young kids. But I believe no matter what the situation, a mother always love her kids more than anything and is capable of taking decisions that won’t hurt them.

    1. You said it, Raj. I know the struggling with just one part very well. I admire those who manage with 2 or more kids. Yes, my point was we judge, I too did the same, and then I imagined myself as that mom and my perception changed. A sensible mom will always make decisions with no intention of hurting her kids. That’s what we should understand, right?

  12. A mom would always do what’s best so I guess we need to leave at that and let her take a call. Right? Liked your post and I can see Mums can relate to it! 🙂

    1. Right, absolutely right. I wrote this after thinking a lot about it. Basically, it is about judging someone else’s choice. I also get judgemental at times, but I am trying to think from the other person’s point of view too. Glad to have you here, Parul. 🙂

  13. These thoughts have crossed my mind too when I see other parents, especially the ones with two kids. I guess being a parent to a single child is a little different from being one to two or more kids, the sense of responsibility multiplies but doesn’t it make one more wary of things that could go wrong if a child is left unattended? But, I second the thought that its best not judge coz we never know the reason or situation of the other parent. Loved the neutral way in which you have put your thoughts across.

What do you think? Please share! :)

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