I can undoubtedly say that 2018 was THE most stressful year I had so far. It’s funny, though. I had been in
I believe, for the first time, everything that could go wrong went wrong in my mind. And it shadowed in everywhere I were. The feeling of being lost, the identity crisis, the sense of worthlessness, the inability to handle tantrums, all of which took a toll, a huge one on me.
Again, it’s funny, because I remember feeling such soaring positivity at the end of 2018 January, having accomplished many of the goals I had set for myself. That goes to prove again, that I work well with goals, and that I feel better when I achieve at least a few.
But, somewhere along the way, I lost my path, I walked blind, I stepped into traps of all kind which distracted me, deviated me. I lost the positive side in me which I always were so proud of. I realize that it was some twisted image that got stuck in my head responsible for all the misgivings. As a result, I ended up paying a high price, by being stuck in feeling worthless.
This month after a lot of interaction with a few kindhearted fellow blogger friends and a lot of self-talk I am finding my way back to being positive again. There is this one thing which I always used to say – “Where there is a will, there is a way.” How in the world did I forget that! I know I have the will. So it is only a matter of time I find my way. Right?
Along with this cloudy feeling, I ended up forgetting all the good things which happened this year. A few of which made me happy this year included –
- reading 25 books when my goal was just 12
- Akku settling well in his playschool
- Kanna blending in well and making new friends at his new school despite missing his old school and friends
- hearing wonderful things about Kanna from his teacher
- when I taught kids coding at summer camp
- the freelance works I have
- the many gifts and love I received this year
- time spent with my family
- the trips and long drives we made
- my caring friends from the world of blogging
-and many more.
Anyway, I have decided not to disappoint me again. I am NOT going to take me for granted. Of course, we need to be considerate about others’ feelings. But not at the price of your own feeling, right?
Every cloud has a silver lining and when it appears it’s one of the beautiful sights. 2018, though, was a stressful year, I appreciate the learnings it bestowed upon me. And most importantly, I am grateful that I learned an important lesson
Saying thanks to yourself for being you will save you from a lot of self-doubts and low self-esteem. Being kind to yourself is the most self-care you can gift yourself.
So, here I end my 2018 journey on a happy note at last. Learning, unlearning and relearning – oh, it was exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. I hope and wish to apply the wisdom I gained in 2018 in the coming year to build a peaceful version of myself.
How did 2018 treat you? Please do share your experience.
and Gratitude Circle hosted by Vidya Sury.