Thursday, November 14, 2019
Gratitude Life

2018 – The year with lessons and learnings

I can undoubtedly say that 2018 was THE most stressful year I had so far. It’s funny, though. I had been in much more difficult and disastrous situations before, but never had I felt this stressed out, this bad, this sad.

I believe, for the first time, everything that could go wrong went wrong in my mind. And it shadowed in everywhere I were. The feeling of being lost, the identity crisis, the sense of worthlessness, the inability to handle tantrums, all of which took a toll, a huge one on me.

Again, it’s funny, because I remember feeling such soaring positivity at the end of 2018 January, having accomplished many of the goals I had set for myself. That goes to prove again, that I work well with goals, and that I feel better when I achieve at least a few.

But, somewhere along the way, I lost my path, I walked blind, I stepped into traps of all kind which distracted me, deviated me. I lost the positive side in me which I always were so proud of. I realize that it was some twisted image that got stuck in my head responsible for all the misgivings. As a result, I ended up paying a high price, by being stuck in feeling worthless.

This month after a lot of interaction with a few kindhearted fellow blogger friends and a lot of self-talk I am finding my way back to being positive again. There is this one thing which I always used to say – “Where there is a will, there is a way.” How in the world did I forget that! I know I have the will. So it is only a matter of time I find my way. Right?

Along with this cloudy feeling, I ended up forgetting all the good things which happened this year. A few of which made me happy this year included –

  • reading 25 books when my goal was just 12
  • Akku settling well in his playschool
  • Kanna blending in well and making new friends at his new school despite missing his old school and friends
  • hearing wonderful things about Kanna from his teacher
  • when I taught kids coding at summer camp
  • the freelance works I have
  • the many gifts and love I received this year
  • time spent with my family
  • the trips and long drives we made
  • my caring friends from the world of blogging

-and many more.

Anyway, I have decided not to disappoint me again. I am NOT going to take me for granted. Of course, we need to be considerate about others’ feelings. But not at the price of your own feeling, right?

Every cloud has a silver lining and when it appears it’s one of the beautiful sights. 2018, though, was a stressful year, I appreciate the learnings it bestowed upon me. And most importantly, I am grateful that I learned an important lesson namely, no matter what, I should appreciate myself.

Saying thanks to yourself for being you will save you from a lot of self-doubts and low self-esteem. Being kind to yourself is the most self-care you can gift yourself.

So, here I end my 2018 journey on a happy note at last. Learning, unlearning and relearning – oh, it was exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. I hope and wish to apply the wisdom I gained in 2018 in the coming year to build a peaceful version of myself.

How did 2018 treat you? Please do share your experience.

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Joining #FridayReflections hosted by Shalini at Kohl Eyed Me and Corinne at Everyday Gyaan.

Friday reflections

and Gratitude Circle hosted by Vidya Sury.

Gratitude Circle


Vinitha
<p>I am an ex-Software engineer turned into a SAHM with a love for words. I secretly wish to be called as a writer. You can read my affair with words at Void Thoughts(http://thevoidthoughts.com) and Reflections..(https://www.vinithadileep.com)</p>

9 thoughts on “2018 – The year with lessons and learnings

  1. Each year’s reflections surprise me; looking back, I have usually, more or less, accomplished my most important – and most importantly, stated – goals. Looking back, I see the little triumphs, the fruits of the efforts, the fun memories that got embedded as the less-fun let go. I can’t say that each year has enlightened and taught me much (this past year was one of the less enlightening, but I have high hopes for the coming year). Still, it’s good to be alive!

  2. I know that feeling of getting off track! I’ve been in the same boat too! But I’m glad you found so many things to be grateful for! You know the best thing I read here? “I’ve decided not to take me for granted any more”. I should repeat that too!
    Here’s wishing you a wonderful and blessed new year!!!

  3. Our thought process often derails us by misleading us or rather we fool ourselves into thinking we are a fialure than we are a success. Glad to see your list of accomplishments for 2018 and I hope 2019 blitzes its way through all the disharmonies in your mind and life to make things wonderful again!!

    Wishing you a very abundant and full 2019 Vini! xoxo

  4. I love the lessons you have gained even from the hard times Vinitha. It’s tough but sometimes, these silver linings are what keep us going. I’m so impressed that you taught coding! I know kids tend to love it and it’s something I cannot figure out. I hope 2019 is kind to you but more importantly, you are kind to yourself in 2019!

  5. Inspite of the fact that the times weren’t as good, I loved the lessons you drew. It’s tough living so far away with two little kids. I can’t even imagine all the work you do. I am so glad you taught coding to kids.Such a sweet thing and would have been fun. You should do this more often. I wish 2019 brings you all that you want and you are able to hold ground. Take it easy and be kind to yourself. Hugs and happy new year!

  6. That post showed your great wisdom, Vinitha. Yes, you achieved many things, even if you had to overcome many others and possibly felt you hadn’t. I set out last year to survive two great stresses without getting depressed. Neither situation has actually finished yet, but so far I have refused to give in to the feelings of inadequacy and lack of control. I should celebrate that. Although the stresses still show in my failure to control my eating… but why stress more over that?

    Thank you for such a thoughtful post. Glad to have met you, thanks to Damyanti.

  7. I’m visiting from Damyanti’s Linky–for Delurking week. What lovely balance in the year, Vineetha. I’m with you–I forget all the good that feels overpowered by the nasty. I’m going to rethink my year.

What do you think? Please share! :)

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