2020 has got a bad reputation. Rightly so. But my word of 2020 gave me the flexibility to own my circumstances and respond accordingly. I chose the word ‘CHOICE’ for 2020 to remind me that whatever I do or not do, I have a choice. I wanted to think about my choice. I wanted to keep myself accountable instead of blaming it on the circumstance because that’s what I usually do. Choice became my word as I reflected on the years before. There were other attractive words that got my attention, but this one was the one for me.
And I am absolutely thrilled that it served its purpose.
In January we got back from India after the vacation trip which was nothing less than hectic as those 37 days were filled with travel and responsibilities and wedding preparations and the days leading to the wedding and the wedding itself and the reception and the dramas in between. It was exhausting but there was fun too as we got to meet a lot of family members. When we got back I was disappointed that I couldn’t write my ‘year-end review’ post and ‘welcome 2020’ post because of the hustle and bustle back in India. 2020 was the new year where we didn’t realize that it was a new year. We were that immersed in other activities. But once we got back I wrote the posts and welcomed the year in my way.
In February we slowly started to settle back by sleeping and resting the jetlag and tiredness away. I wasn’t particularly productive and no complaints there.
In March, I taught coding in Kanna’s school for his class. He told me that they need someone to teach coding and I reached out to his teacher and she invited me to teach the class. I was very nervous but I taught the class where many students kept coming back with doubts and enthusiasm only 4th graders can show. It was a wonderful experience. His teacher wanted me to come back in the next few weeks to give more lessons. I left the school with so much excitement because anytime I go out of my house for work, I feel such a rush of joy and excitement. It all brings back to that threshold that shows me how much I miss working outside my home.
That’s when covid stepped in halting my temporary work to a temporary dream and that was that. But I was able to see past that and not wallow in distraught. I got the opportunity to write some exams for a prestigious software organization during that time and since I haven’t heard back from them, I chose to believe that it was covid that stopped me from giving life to my dreams again. Because choosing to believe gave me the courage to move on without depressing myself with what I don’t have.
In April, a message from a fellow blogger prompted me to get back on writing on Medium. I published more than 150 posts on Medium since April. My pieces got accepted into some wonderful publications and some of the pieces got curated as well adding more feathers to my hat.
May was when I got my first email from Medium about a poem I submitted being curated by the Medium editors. This particular piece was rejected by another publication a few days before that email landed in my inbox. I was upset about the rejection, but that email changed my outlook. Since then, I received many rejections but I was not as upset about receiving a rejection letter as I learned that it wasn’t necessarily my poem’s lack of excellence that caused the rejection. These rejection letters gave me the push to write more.
June and July saw me adjusting to the new schedule and writing a lot more. From August onwards my writing toned-down a bit. Still, I wrote quite a bit. I also started to add my poetry on my YouTube channel, Void Thoughts. If you haven’t subscribed yet, please support me by subscribing to my channel and sharing it with your friends.
This poem got the most views so far –
It wasn’t always easy. October and November saw my stress levels shooting up high. Nothing I accomplished this year was because it was a breeze. I stood by me when things got tough. I woke up earlier than usual to sneak in my me-time knowing that that’s the only way I could keep myself sane. I wrote not because it was an easy choice. I did so because it was the choice I wanted to make. I didn’t want to wait around any more. Recording for my YouTube channel wasn’t easy with all four of us stuck at home. But I made adjustments and utilized my resources and time to suit my needs. I adapted to the new normal as much as I could, reluctantly of course, but made good use of my time. I am proud of myself for doing that.
Yes, 2020 was a difficult year. My hopes for this year was completely different when it started. But I am okay with how I survived this year. I am not going to focus on what I couldn’t do, how my dreams were crushed once again. Instead, I am patting on my back for everything I had done this year even if it is as simple as getting out of bed.
If 2020 has taught me anything that is to be my person and make best of use of my time.
My word of 2020 CHOICE helped me to get through the year with fewer bruises and heartbreaks. Isn’t that something? 😀