Monday, October 25, 2021
Gratitude Life Random Thoughts

All That I’m Grateful For

I haven’t written a gratitude post this year. It wasn’t intentional, but in some ways it was intentional too.

Let me explain.

I felt that a gratitude post would lead to too much disclosure of my personal life. I am way less active in social media for a while now. And I didn’t feel the need to celebrate every little joy or to show every little frown online. But I think there is some downside to this way of thinking.

My voice, where is it! You know, when you go quiet for some time, you get comfortable in that quietness and slowly your voice fades. I was blogging all this while. Never a week I failed to appear with my #FictionMonday prompt post and #SoulfulSunday post with my buddies.

Yet, some things have changed. Well, some things have been changing for some time now. But now that I look back, I feel those two weekly blogging events I show up without fail only because I committed to it. My random Facebook status, blog post shares, everything which was non-committal, I gave up on them. For all you know I don’t exist.

But hey, nobody will miss this human being. Isn’t that a comfort!

I don’t feel that grateful. That’s why I decided to write this post. I feel lost and lonely. I feel like I am left on the side of the road where I can’t find any mode of transportation. I can’t even hitchhike, because there aren’t any vehicles on this road of abandonment. I want to go back and stay on the once-covered road that was busy and filled with fun. It was hard to imagine then that the road ahead was going to be this deserted. Despite the lack of companionship, I keep moving forward. Maybe, I hope that I will meet someone like me, stranded on this island of a road. I am not sure at this point. But I am moving forward.

All I am grateful for at this moment is my ability to move forward. My willingness to keep moving forward, not knowing what lies ahead.

But yes, I am grateful although I don’t feel especially grateful.

Vinitha

An IT Professional, an author, an accidental blogger, a lover of words and a recent self-care addict. I love stringing words together, which I lovingly call a poem. You can read my affair with words at Void Thoughts(http://thevoidthoughts.com) and Reflections..(https://www.vinithadileep.com)

6 thoughts on “All That I’m Grateful For

  1. I understand what you mean. A time comes when you feel the need for some privacy and don’t want to shout out from the roof tops but enjoy or vent in your own quiet space. There is a lot that is happening in this world for which none of us are grateful but on the other hand, we have a lot to be grateful for too…..

  2. I have similar thoughts creeping in, was feeling very low on Thursday and thats when I read this post on “languishing” being the sentiment dominating 2021 and I then felt a tiny bit better as its not just me. The post went on to say that the first step in dealing with this is acknowledging it. Like when someone says “how are you?” its ok to say “I am not ok”. Hang in there friend , many of us sailing in the same boat. I try to normalise my life by going through chores, my exercise etc but this feeling of sadness keeps hitting me too. I have decided to acknowledge it and find ways to cope with it while knowing that some days may be low. Sending you love and hugs!

  3. So beautifully written. Times are hard and I think you will find many of us on your road. We need to just put that one step in front of the other and move. We will meet the others on the way and hold hands and help each other on. In fact we are already doing it, no?

  4. Hugs, dear Vinitha! Loved your poignant post.

    There are those days when we cannot proceed beyond our pain and then, there are days when the darkness lifts and brings in light that helps us find our way out of the mess we’ve been in. Thank God for the loved ones and the close friends who continue to hold our hands through these difficult days.
    I guess we need to acknowledge that some days even though we cannot be grateful explicitly, we do feel that surge of gratitude for what we have, in a quiet kind of way. It’s okay to let be. We are all humans at the end of the day, not machines, right?

  5. I’m glad you wrote this, Vinitha. There are so many people finding it hard to find anything good at this time and that’s okay too. I do believe that being authentic about our feelings is what’s most important. And then having the strength to pick ourselves up despite being down, as you are doing, is certainly something!

What do you think? Please share! :)

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