My dear Kanna,
When I was a kid I wanted to become a doctor when I grow up. As long back I can remember I wanted to be a doctor, and I was so sure that I would become a doctor.
But when the decision making time came I stepped away from my doctor dreams and took the path of engineer. You want to know what I think about all these? If I was brought up with no expectations from others I never would have wanted to become a doctor when I was a kid nor would have chosen engineering stream. I would have become a journalist or something else.
And that’s why dear I do not want to put anything inside your head. Whatever you want to become, you dream and you think and you be it. I guess when I was asked what you want to become, the question followed with options of doctor, engineer and teacher (read professor). Since my 5 year old mind had not known what an engineer did or how he looked, and I guess the building house part or serving on ships didn’t so much thrilled me probably, it was natural that I turned my face away from the engineering option.
Then the teacher – when you go to Indian school you will know all of them were not that kindhearted. There might be a lot of people who disagrees with me, but since I have the experience I can tell you this. There are a lot of teachers I love and so kind and very good who taught so many good things what was in the syllabus and something about the world too. But for us teachers always were like a boss. We never had freedom to have an opinion. Most of us were scared to ask even a doubt. Threats of beating up were thrown at us with no mercy. Sad part is even the parents had no say in this threatening’s, then again I think parents also thought that’s how kids should be handled – make them scare, beat them, reasoning with kids is a waste and trying to understand what little mind thinks – foolishness!! I think that’s what the parents and teachers thought about in general. So when I didn’t want to be a teacher its not surprising right?
Then the doctor – I have seen him with stethoscope sitting on the chair, while everyone else waited for him, when it was our turn he greeted with how are you, and he examined making sure I understood what he was saying, when we left he promised you will be alright in few days. I think I saw the perfect human there. You know how you want to be superhero when you grow up, that doctor was my super hero and I wanted to be him when I grew up and surprisingly that option went hand in hand with others expectation too.
But all of it changed when I grew up.
It changes dear, with time your likes, passions, preferences, all of it changes. And you should go with what pleases you at a given time. May be my attitude towards all these “follow your passion” notion changes with time. But that’s what I want you to do. I don’t want you to fulfill my dreams. I want you to live your dreams. Its okay if following your passion turns to be a wrong step, as long as you understand where you went wrong and correct your mistakes next time. Make that mistake, even when the mother in me is screaming behind you to show the so called right path, the woman in me will always be proud for following your dreams.
P.S: If this all sounds more like a rambling, you are not alone. It sounds rambling to me too.. Sorry about that.