It feels odd writing this post today. I haven’t been writing my weekly gratitude posts since the very first one of 2023 that I published in the first week of January. The reason? Oh, there is no reason, other than excuses.
Truthfully, I didn’t feel like writing a gratitude post. I wrote a couple of times – once in late January and once in February, but never took the effort to edit and publish the post.
I have also been slacking off in my daily gratitude journaling. I wrote when I felt like jotting down what I was grateful for. Most days I didn’t feel the need to write my gratitudes. Does that make me a bad person? An ungrateful one? I don’t think so. If I write for the sake of writing without actually feeling grateful, then it is a timewaster. But, I wasn’t going through a not so grateful period either. Life was performing its brilliant act with no hesitation and I went with its flow.
I am not here to justify or to make excuses. Forgiving yourself is the kindest self care action. For the days I could’ve woken up earlier, been productive, worked out better, cooked efficiently, cleaned thoroughly, written more, been a better creative person, and had done everything a tad more skillfully than I had done, I forgive myself. By doing so, I am taking control of my day, rather than lamenting about what’s not done.
Here are few things I was grateful for last week:
- Despite my concerns about driving in wind gusts above 20 miles per hour, the blustery weather appeared to be tolerable.
- Dining out. Kids and us are equally enjoying our weekly dining out trips and having a good family time.
- We remembered to attend the meeting about their upcoming trip at my elder one’s school at the very last minute. Thank god!
- My back pain is manageable after giving me a difficult two weeks.
- Being consistent at doing daily 2 minute planks. I can hold it easily for the first minute. But the second one minute is when I radiate copious amount of heat. Aiming at improving my time and being consistent.
- Art. Certainly my go-to medicine to get some me time. I love how my kids are inspired to use their creative prowess when they see me creating artwork.
- Reading. Finished a book last week – The Vibrant Years by Sonali Dev. I liked her style of writing. I already forgot how many books I have read so far this year. Can’t wait to check out the other books in my reading list.
- Writing. I am writing. Most days. Some days a lot more. Next week I hope to add ‘publishing’ in the list of things I am grateful for.
Often I find myself in a space where nothing is enough. Nothing I do seems to be enough. I am consciously putting in the effort to see the things I do every day. I am reminding myself that it’s not a race. In fact, going at our own pace is difficult to do without comparing us with others. I am getting better at it – in slowing down, taking myself out of the comparison trap, and enjoying my day my way.
So, tell me, what made you smile today?
Joining Esha and Shilpa for #SoulfulSunday..
You can never be a bad person, Vinitha, whether you write your gratitude list or not. There are days when nothing feels worth being grateful for and that should be okay too, right? It is a relief to know your back pain is manageable. Art, reading, writing, family time – you have been accomplishing quite a lot these days. Cheers to be able to slow down your pace to your need and taking yourself out of the ‘mental’ comparison race. Hoping to see you ‘publishing’ next week also 🙂
I used to write what I was grateful for daily, but somewhere along the way, I stopped. Today, the one thing that makes me grateful is that my mum is back home from hospital and has agreed to stay with me. The other thing I am grateful for is that we have not yet started getting on each other’s nerves or planning ways to kill each other off. I do love her and I know she loves me too, but I am that child to her that every mother has, who makes you tear out your hair! ????
You aren’t a bad person for not writing in you gratitude journal or not being grateful for all you have, Vini. We all have such days when we feel overwhelmed due to some or the other thing and fail to count our blessings, or forget to do so. Today is such a day for me….tough on the soul. I am trying not to let it get the better of me. But you are definitely doing good!
I am glad to know your backache is lesser now. Also happy to read your gratitude list. How’s the book Vibrant years? I just checked, it’s on Kindle Unlimited.
May you have a good week ahead, Vini. Chill out with the kids and do things at your own pace – it’s better than to get into a race and then get frustrated and desperate.
Hugs!
I’m learning to be disciplined but also giving myself grace on off days! I think that’s absolutely okay – we’re human, after all. And beating ourselves up serves no, right? ♥
Hugs, dear! I hear you, Vinitha. Been there and felt the exact same emotions and I think we have learnt a lot of compassion for ourselves from these moments when nothing seems to be enough. It’s the hardest thing to do…moving on from that point and getting on with everyday chores…not letting it weigh you down even when it feels overwhelming. I laud you for this brave post and for reminding us that comparison is a ‘kill joy.’ I’m never ever going down that road again. Rat-races are meant for rats who love to race, not me, for sure. 😉