Wednesday, June 12, 2024
Random Thoughts

Of realizations and struggles – #WeekendCoffeeShare

coffee-1580595_960_720If we were having coffee together, I would complain about the hot October that we just bid bye to. I would admit, reluctantly though, that this time of the year was best in the UK and that I miss it, a bit. The alluring fall colors, the leaf carpeted sidewalks, the chillness in the air, the pretty nature – Oh yes, I miss it. I don’t miss the early sunset and sunrise, though. In my experience never before in October Phoenix was this heated up. October used to be the nicest month for Phoenix but this time it decided to act up like a rowdy toddler!

If we were having coffee together, I would say that it’s hard. This mommy thing. No matter how many times you become a parent, it’s hard. Parenting is about going with the flow, much like life! There is no handbook that will make you smarter in this topic. It is about trial and errors and choosing the closest to the best option every moment. And of course, we make mistakes. We have to, considering that there is no easy way here! Right now I’m tired, missing sleep and battling with the routines that I’m yet to master! Didn’t I know this before? Of course, I did! Then why the surprise? It’s one thing knowing it and assuming that it can be dealt with. But it’s a completely different matter going through it and actually dealing with it. But thankfully, there are easy days too, less energy sucking, more smiling days!

If we were having coffee, I would say that I don’t have anything else to say. Now that I’m sitting here with the intention of talking to you, my mind is going blank. But if I attempt to go to sleep, because that’s what I should be doing when the baby sleeps to refill my energy, then, no doubt,there would be a flood of topics and ideas in my mind that I couldn’t resist sharing with you! The effect of all these would drive the snooze away leaving a wide awakened me with crippling energy.

If I were having coffee with you, I would say that I’m not happy that I’m not writing much in Void Thoughts anymore. In fact, I am worried that my writing abilities are worn out. Oh, that thought itself is causing bruises all over my mind. I can’t think about it any further!

If we were having coffee together, I would ask how are you. Is life treating you kind? I would hope that it is! And sure it will be kind, even though it appears not at times. That’s what I tell myself. I would say come back here to share coffee with me again as I need to leave now. The tiny little wonder of ours is seeking my attention and before it turns into screams, thank you for being here.

Sharing with #WeekendCoffeeShare at Part-Time Monster.

Vinitha Dileep

I am an ex-Software engineer who turned into a SAHM with a love for words. I secretly wish to be called a writer. You can read my affair with words at Void Thoughts( and Reflections..(

38 thoughts on “Of realizations and struggles – #WeekendCoffeeShare

  1. Aww! I can understand your situation as a mommy to a new born. It’s like starting all over again. But I am sure you would be able to manage it better this time for you have the experience! Take care and enjoy the lil baby. ♥

    1. Thanks Shilpa! Yes, it is like starting all over again. Thankfully I’m able to keep up with pace my two babies are at. Hoping that I will be able to continye it!

  2. If I were having coffee with you, I would ask you to not let worries about not being able to write more affect you in any which way possible, Vinitha. Life has been throwing me challenges too, but yes, I feel I can pass through the phase, albeit with difficulty.
    Enjoy your motherhood. Try to sleep as much as you are able to. You write beautifully. I cannot find a flaw, if that makes you doubt yourself less 🙂

  3. If we were having coffee, I would reach out and hug you to say, ‘You’re doing fine, mamma. It’s hard, this thing called parenting. It’s tough to get by on sleepless nights and frantic worry. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to feel exhausted and drained by everything that life is throwing at you right now. Be kind to yourself. Take care of you. Life cannot be measured in teaspoons of despair or jugs of happiness. It needs both. We need the fatigue so we can welcome the relaxation. We need the strain so we gladly embrace the gains. We need things to spiral out of control so we learn how to pick ourselves up, tread the unsteady path and start walking happily again. One day, the sleep deprivation will stop. The endless wailing will cease. The frantic sterilising of bottles will dramatically come to a standtstill and all you’ll have are hazy memories of these exhausting moments. But you are more resilient than you know. Today. Tomorrow and forever. As long as you have all of that together, you’re doing just fine, mamma.’

  4. I have been there, done that…..It is hard, really hard when you want to write or read, or think….but you can’t…..But is there any other option available – I guess not….we have to wait it out patiently…….

  5. Your writing is always heart felt and the touch is only getting better!! You are just being a new mom all over again!!! Even it is little, I still love to read what you write!!

  6. And here I am… seriously considering adopting a baby!
    But hang in there, Vinitha! These extreme tiring situations only help us discover yet another reservoir of hidden strength within us. So that one day, when life is sailing smooth once again, we can look back & say -“Boy! I survived through THAT!”
    Cheers! And loads of hugs! Keep smiling! 😀

    1. You are going to adopt Chikki? Good. I believe anything that involves another person (little or big) needs a lot of patience. All the best with everything dear. You are right. One day I look back and will feel, ” I did that ” 😉 Till then it’s messy as it can be. 🙂

  7. Hi Vinitha, its amazing that you could drag yourself from all the chaos at home to pen down this beautiful post! By experience I can assure you that these are fleeting times that will vanish all too soon and you’ll be left wondering where they disappeared! Don’t worry about not finding time or the inclination to write, it will all come right back when the time is right. Much love and hugs to you and your little ones!

  8. I have so been in your shoes and am thinking of you. I don’t have that sense of time passing quickly but my son turns 13 next year and when we went to a family party recently, people were struck by how much he’s grown. He’s almost finished his first year of high school and is starting to get shoulders. Our daughter is almost 11.
    I don;t miss the early year much and I’ve been enjoying them growing up and being able to do things together. My daughter and I both play the violin and dance (her well, me very badly) and my son and I play Scrabble.
    A friend of mine described parenting as the most rewarding and the most challenging thing he’s ever done and I strongly agree with that.
    Best wishes,

    1. You are right, Rowena, parenting is the most rewarding and challenging job ever. I’m glad that you understand the overwhelming feeling it gives. My elder one will turn 7 next month and the baby is 8 weeks old. I was enjoying the independence of my son and doing stuff together until the little guy came along. It is good when we can take a break without worrying every second. Now even a shower seems luxury. 🙂 But yes, this is how it is.
      Much love to you, Rowena. Hugs.

  9. If the mind is going blank when you want to say so much, we can have a silent coffee, but the coffee has to be had.. Be around. You know that soon, this will change to less stressful times.

    1. Coffee in silence! 🙂 We could be starring in one of those silent films, Lata. 🙂 I have good company here, don’t I? Thank you for being here, dear.

  10. Warm hugs to you, Vinitha. Parenting is always difficult no matter how many times you become a mother. The joys are there too, so that’s a solace. Do write whenever you can and whatever it is on your mind. We are here to read along, smile with you, or cry with you. Give yourself the time and space to deal with the changes life has brought about. Here’s to more coffees and informal chats, dear.

    1. Yes, parenting is a mix of both smiles and tears. Thank you for listening to my rants, Uma. 🙂

  11. Wow, lady, you have definitely NOT lost touch with your writing! In spite of your hectic schedule, you found time to write this beautiful post…what more proof do you need, girl? 🙂
    Kudos to you, Vinitha. You are doing your mumma-job so well! I can imagine the push and pull you must feel, the tug of war between your children and your writing. It’s tough, but you haven’t given up. That says a lot about your tough spirit! I can also relate to your sleep woes. The mind goes blank when you sit to write, but goes on an overdrive when you lie down to catch a few precious winks! The slumber fairy can be so naughty at times, isn’t it?
    Keep writing as and when you find the time and energy, Vinitha. (I admit, had i been in your place, I would have given up writing long ago!)
    Once again, heartiest congratulations and best wishes to you both and your two little bundles of love!
    God bless you, my dear!

    Let’s have a cup of coffee some day, shall we?

    1. I would love to have a cup of coffee with you any day, Shilpa. For now we have to resort to these virtual cups. 🙂 Thank you for the encouraging words dear. Writing on the blog is much harder than writing on a piece of paper. But when I finally blog and hit publish, I feel happy. It is my delight to spend time in the company of my blogging buddies for a little while. 🙂

  12. Hugs dear Vinitha, and let me tell you- you write so beautifully!I think this is the toughest phase in life for every new mom and you are doing exceptionally well, juggling home, your son, your new baby and still taking time out for writing. There is so much you can do as a new mom within a given day! You’re doing so much better than I could ever have done when I was in your situation, almost 12 years ago. It’s a very therapeutic thing to write, so keep on writing whenever time permits and about whatever comes to mind – the important thing is to keep going and take this phase as it comes. You are already multitasking my dear and you should pat yourself on the back for doing such a wonderful job of it. Enjoy your little baby and keep writing, Vinitha. Try to take it one day at a time and stay happy. Parenting is a hugely challenging but a greatly fulfilling task! And whoever says it is easy has got it all wrong. The sleep-deprivation, the tiredness, the challenge of facing new things everyday will be a thing of the past one day! You will soon look back at these moments and be amazed how at how soon this will pass <3 🙂

    1. You know Esha, despite all the chaos and madness, I am already dreading that this will be over soon and I will miss all of it. I remember all the craziness that unfolded 7 years ago when Kanna was born and few years later I was wondering where did the time go. I tell Kanna that he is growing up faster and don’t grow this fast. So now I am relishing each day every day. I know this time will fade into one of those memories I want to relive. If only I could lock these moments forever!

  13. Awww..I know how you feel. I have been there. This parenting thing is hard work, dearie. And most of this is just a phase. I can’t say it gets any easier, it just gets different, and I am sure you know this by now. Just as you know that it is so worth it – all the sleep deprivation and constant worry – for those little pieces of our heart. Take care, you. *Hugs*

    1. It never gets easier, does it? Every phase comes with its own challenges and joys. Right now, sleep deprivation is the worst enemy. But I can’t say no to those little smiles any time of the day or night. 🙂 Thank you for the visit, Shantala. 🙂

  14. The tantrums created by the neonatal and its growing stages can be defined as sweet pains.We forget the pains when we get the balm of innocent smiles.Very well written,Vinitha. I liked it.

    1. You made my day with such a nice comment, Dashy. 🙂 Thank you for thinking of me for the award. I sure accept it. 🙂

  15. This is something every mom passes through Vinitha! If I were having coffee with you I would love to say you that – Thinking of what has not been done or where we have not been is not going to make it easy to cope with the present. Just live the moment, having a baby for many is a dream, for some it is something they have been longing and is not happening. You have been blessed with the cutest baby. Writing, blogging and other things can be caught up once your baby becomes independent. Believe me! Your baby needs you more than anyone else now and this is the time you should be using to shape baby’s future. Try doing that , you will see a lot of changes in yourselves and the people around you.
    Lots and lots of love and hugs
    Menaka Bharathi has recently published

  16. Hi Thanks for the coffee and the chat…. I can only imagine, newborns are so hungry for attention and milk hahahahaha This whole life thing really needs to have a handbook with all the answers, oh how easy life would be if you could google away all the problems you had..
    but you are right, life has a funny way of being kind even when it seems to be giving your lemons

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