Wednesday, October 16, 2019
Motherhood

Parenting Journey – The Beginning.

Motherhood has given me plenty of new lessons every day. The lesson from one day is not applicable on the very next day. Parenting is such a road of adventures that there is no easy way. There is no manual that will make you a better parent. What works for one parent might not hold true for another.

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Pic via Pixabay

When I started my journey into parenthood, we were in US. We did not have any family members there. We couldn’t bring our parents during my pregnancy time or delivery time. We were on our own, me and my husband.

Of course. it was a hard route, but we were prepared for it. Both of us were against the idea of me going back to India for delivery. We wanted the baby to born into the arms of both the parents. Moreover after seeing the facilities in the hospital there, along with my wonderful Gynecologist I never wanted to go to anywhere else. My doctor was so understanding. I could never thank her enough.

So the point was we were alone to take care of a new born baby. And both of us had no experience in taking care of babies. We had some friends there who helped us a lot when the times were tough with my nausea and my husband’s limited knowledge in cooking. They provided us with food. The good part was my husband learned to cook at least enough to keep us away from starving.

We attended some classes on baby care and learned how to strap in the diaper, how to bathe the baby, how to carry the baby, how to put on clothes for him, what to do when the baby cries and so on. It was very useful for us. When Kanna was born we became real parents all of a sudden, not the ones who was putting diapers on a baby doll anymore.

That’s when I realized that parenting kicks in, the moment baby is in your arms. There is no learning beforehand. There is no manual. Of course, we can read baby books make ourselves prepared with what lays ahead but it is only for reference. Whatever the books says our experience is going to be different. Because our baby is different. It is good to consult with other parents about their experiences but never expect the same with ours.

So there began the parenting journey of two souls with no prior knowledge, with no help from anyone else. And as expected it was tough. But for us, we had each other to depend on, more importantly we only had each other to depend on. Because of that my husband was familiar with Kanna’s routine very well. I was the primary caregiver, but that didn’t make my husband secondary. While other moms complained about how scary it is to leave the baby alone with dads, I couldn’t relate to it. because in our case we both were either good parents or bad parents, that’s how we dealt with the baby. We learned and taught each other.

Personally, I feel the circumstances which forced us to be on our own from the very early stage was a blessing in disguise. Not only that we learned the art of parenting our own way, we learned to be there for each other. And those experiences brought us closer. And isn’t that a child needs the most, parents who depends on each other. I believe so. Of course, the sail wasn’t any easier but I will get to that on a later post.

Are you a parent? How did you deal with the baby years?

 

Linking to Day 5 of NaBloPoMo – November.

Vinitha
<p>I am an ex-Software engineer turned into a SAHM with a love for words. I secretly wish to be called as a writer. You can read my affair with words at Void Thoughts(http://thevoidthoughts.com) and Reflections..(https://www.vinithadileep.com)</p>

0 thoughts on “Parenting Journey – The Beginning.

  1. such a lovely post Vinitha 🙂 It must have been scary at the start being alone (only both of you) however, I see that it has turned into a wonderful experience for all 🙂 Cheers to parenting 🙂 Best Wishes.

  2. You have been lucky, i would say, in the way that since you were alone you learnt everything at your own pace without being judged. I would tell you a secret that even when you have lots of people around you at that time you are still all the more alone. And having an equally involved partner by your side is surely a blessin 🙂

    1. I consider myself lucky too, Anamika. Many times I have felt that what my mom and his mom told me and how I wanted to do for the baby was different. Since we were on our own we could do as per our wishes. Though they were not thrilled at first they are alright now, seeing that we are fine on our own. And I strongly feel it is good that way. I understand how you might have felt Anamika, you have to listen to all the advices and suggestions and you have to do everything too. When more people are there more conflicts of interests and trying to please all of them, all that stuff. I am so glad I was alone. But good thing is you will learn to ignore the judgements sooner. 🙂 And yea, I was lucky that my husband didn’t think that it was lame for him to do the house works and caring for baby. 🙂 But those happened only because we were away. If we were in India, I am sure he wouldn’t have even learned to pick up the new born. 😉

  3. You know what Vinitha? I could have easily been the one writing this post, as we have had similar experiences. Kid born in US.No Parents for Pregnancy & Delivery. Great hospital & doctors. Those initial years were tough, but those were the years when me and my husband bonded, and learned to work as a team instead of two separate entities. I was not a better caregiver than he was. We were both equally good (or bad). It was the best thing that happened to us as a couple. We learned, we looked out for one another, and we bonded. 🙂

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