Motherhood has given me plenty of new lessons every day. The lesson from one day is not applicable on the very next day. Parenting is such a road of adventures that there is no easy way. There is no manual that will make you a better parent. What works for one parent might not hold true for another.
When I started my journey into parenthood, we were in US. We did not have any family members there. We couldn’t bring our parents during my pregnancy time or delivery time. We were on our own, me and my husband.
Of course. it was a hard route, but we were prepared for it. Both of us were against the idea of me going back to India for delivery. We wanted the baby to born into the arms of both the parents. Moreover after seeing the facilities in the hospital there, along with my wonderful Gynecologist I never wanted to go to anywhere else. My doctor was so understanding. I could never thank her enough.
So the point was we were alone to take care of a new born baby. And both of us had no experience in taking care of babies. We had some friends there who helped us a lot when the times were tough with my nausea and my husband’s limited knowledge in cooking. They provided us with food. The good part was my husband learned to cook at least enough to keep us away from starving.
We attended some classes on baby care and learned how to strap in the diaper, how to bathe the baby, how to carry the baby, how to put on clothes for him, what to do when the baby cries and so on. It was very useful for us. When Kanna was born we became real parents all of a sudden, not the ones who was putting diapers on a baby doll anymore.
That’s when I realized that parenting kicks in, the moment baby is in your arms. There is no learning beforehand. There is no manual. Of course, we can read baby books make ourselves prepared with what lays ahead but it is only for reference. Whatever the books says our experience is going to be different. Because our baby is different. It is good to consult with other parents about their experiences but never expect the same with ours.
So there began the parenting journey of two souls with no prior knowledge, with no help from anyone else. And as expected it was tough. But for us, we had each other to depend on, more importantly we only had each other to depend on. Because of that my husband was familiar with Kanna’s routine very well. I was the primary caregiver, but that didn’t make my husband secondary. While other moms complained about how scary it is to leave the baby alone with dads, I couldn’t relate to it. because in our case we both were either good parents or bad parents, that’s how we dealt with the baby. We learned and taught each other.
Personally, I feel the circumstances which forced us to be on our own from the very early stage was a blessing in disguise. Not only that we learned the art of parenting our own way, we learned to be there for each other. And those experiences brought us closer. And isn’t that a child needs the most, parents who depends on each other. I believe so. Of course, the sail wasn’t any easier but I will get to that on a later post.
Are you a parent? How did you deal with the baby years?
Linking to Day 5 of NaBloPoMo – November.