Wednesday, October 16, 2019
Parenting Adventures

The ME TIME dilemmas

When I had my baby 5 years back, me and my husband were alone in another part of the world away from  the rest of our family. I had my husband as a support system, but I was the only one with the baby 24/7.

I stole power naps whenever my new baby took nap.

I squeezed in cooking when my little one tried to jingle the mobile toys hung upon the play gym with his tiny leg.

I watched TV shows during dinner or lunch whichever I could savor first.

It wasn’t easy. I loved my baby, but I missed spending more than 1 minute in the shower. I missed my precious ME-TIME with the baby’s arrival.

At four months of my mommyhood, I joined a yoga class right next to my home. Oh, what a bliss that was! I enjoyed the practice with all my heart. Moreover, I enjoyed the me-time, 2 hours a week. That was a healthy dose of me time for the exhausted me.

But I still craved for more me-time. More relaxation. And when my baby was 2 years old we put him in a daycare, 2 hours a day, 3 days a week. And boy, I was elated and depressed at the same time. I heard my baby’s cries when he was not around and rushed to the bedroom to find an empty crib only to realize that he was at the day care.

Yeah, it took some time to get adjusted to enjoy the much-awaited me-time. But mind you, I wasn’t bored. I wasn’t without work to do when my son was away for 2 hours. It was a change of phase for both me and him. One month later we were the happiest mommy and baby in the block.

Through my experience, I learned that me-time for the mother  is much important for the mommy and the baby. Letting someone else take care of the baby for an hour a day isn’t abandoning our baby. That one hour would help in rejuvenating ourselves and giving the baby a happier mommy. I was questioned on why was I sending a two-year-old kid to the daycare while I stay at home. Anyone who understands how tiring parenting can be would not pose such questions. Anyone who realizes how important me time for keeping sanity is would not even think of asking such questions.

It is natural to feel guilty when we are away from our precious little bundle of joy. But should we? If taking some time just for ourselves could give our baby and our family a better us, shouldn’t that be done without fail? What do you think?

Originally published in World Of Moms.

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Vinitha
<p>I am an ex-Software engineer turned into a SAHM with a love for words. I secretly wish to be called as a writer. You can read my affair with words at Void Thoughts(http://thevoidthoughts.com) and Reflections..(https://www.vinithadileep.com)</p>

13 thoughts on “The ME TIME dilemmas

  1. I relate to this a lot. A happy mommy, will create a happy environment for a happy child. It took me some time to realise this.

  2. I think once my kids got a little older, I din’t even feel guilty 😉 “Me” time is very essential! well, if people think we are not taking care of our kids because of that, then so be it!! We need to only satisfy ourselves and noone else!! great post!!

  3. When I step into that phase, I might understand your words more. But I have seen my friends and family going through the same. I’m glad you are happy 🙂

  4. And vinitha, you would see that in traditional family settings, there are elder ladies, girls of house and many other persons who give mother her ME time; here you are all alone. So, it should be fine if you hand over baby to someone for some time.

  5. I can so relate to this post, Vinitha. ‘Me-time’ does come with its share of guilt, especially for me. My son is 3 1/2 and now that he is all set for pre-school, I am finally going to get some baby-free time. I had considered day-care before this, but guilt overwhelmed me. 🙁 On hindsight, I should have gone ahead with it. It would have made for a happier, more peaceful household.

What do you think? Please share! :)

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