2020 is entering its last quarter soon. As days roll into months, my hope to see 2020 as a COVID free year is dwindling.
This year started on a different note for me as we were in India for vacation when the new year arrived. I couldn’t publish my goodbye 2019 post or Welcome 2020 post on the new year’s eve or when the new year rang in. It felt odd to me. But later when we got back from our vacation, I did write and posted those posts.
At that time though I didn’t realize that throughout this year that feeling of oddness was going to linger.
Now between shopping for masks and feeling uneasy around people without masks while picking up groceries, 2020 is all about giving that odd and different feeling a proper place and year. And in times like this, we need gratitude in our lives.
I completed one more year around the sun this August, thus marking a total of 37 years on the surface of the Earth. The month began on a happy note with my birthday and unexpected gifts and the boys treating me like a queen. But as the birthday bash got over things changed.
An unknown sadness lingered, though I tried to ignore it. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason.
But it was there, snooping around, sneaking in my mind, snatching my peace…
Then a couple of things happened which made it worse.
So, somewhere in July I had signed up to participate in the beta testing of Medium’s new version of the app. I got in as one of the testers. I kept logging bugs and shared some ideas to make the app more user friendly. I enjoyed the whole process as using the app was already a part of my daily life.
Then I got an email asking to attend a call with their design team. I was nervous but excited at this opportunity. The call went well. Their interaction was extremely pleasant and professional. I was happy.
After that call, I felt sad. Because that reminded me of how much I miss being part of a team. Engaging in a professional set up and contributing to a team. I miss all that.
Then another thing happened. Medium changed its terms of conditions upsetting the writers of the platform. Copyright issues are always dreadful for a creative mind. When so many writers who I admired and followed left Medium over the updated terms, I felt dejected. Again.
That question came back to me. What’s the whole point! What’s the point of writing? What am I doing with my life! What’s the purpose of my life? All those nagging questions took center stage again. I felt low.
After talking to my husband and my friends slowly I started to feel better. I wrote again. There is no denying the fact that no matter what, writing makes me happy. It may be pointless, but it makes me happy. Maybe, that’s the purpose of my life. Write to make me happy.
What I wrote
I published 17 posts in Medium in August. Sharing the links here for your reading pleasure.
My Thoughts on Medium’s updated Terms of Services Article
A Wildflower Poem
Those Moments Poem
School is Back in Session Poem
Wayward Words Poem
Writer’s Life Poem
Failing Thoughts Haiku
When Broken Dreams Shine Poem
Not so dear Pandemic Poem
Words that Wander Poem
One Day Poem
Gone, but… Fiction
Some days aren’t mine! Poem
Liberation of Words Poem
What Would Life Be Without Gratitude
I am grateful for writing, and for having people in my life with whom I can talk to, who are ready to listen to me.
I am grateful for the tiny moments of happiness that fills the pages of my gratitude journal every day.
I am grateful for getting to celebrate another birthday.
I am grateful for everything that is going fine.
To be honest, I had a good month despite the negative feelings. The month ended on a rather good note with us celebrating Onam, a Kerala festival, together as a family. It made me immensely happy as I put together the Sadhya (feast).
So that was my 2020 August. How was yours?
Joining Vidya Sury’s Gratitude Circle.