Wednesday, October 16, 2019
Life Motherhood Parenting Adventures

Why I stay back

Kanna’s school hour starts at 8:50 in the morning. Most of the days, we reach school at around 8:40. As soon as he is inside the school grounds, he will run to the playground to join his friends. They all have to line up at the same playground when the bell goes off at 8:50. Kanna tirelessly runs around playing tag with his friends till it’s time to line up.

I wait till he gets inside his class. This I do, despite the fact that I have a bus to catch to get back home. What’s the big deal you might think? It doesn’t matter that there are two buses around that time – one will always be early causing us, parents, who stay back to see off their kids to their classes, to miss the bus and the other will be late or absent for the day, making us wait in the cold weather and forcing me to pledge that I won’t stay back again.

My husband asks me why do I have to wait until he gets inside the class. Because the few times he dropped Kanna at the school, he either left as soon as they all lined up or sometimes well before that. Now, my husband has a valid point because most often Kanna won’t even look at my direction even after he is in the queue. I, on the other hand, look at his way to catch a glimpse of my boy, my one hand ready to wave at him the moment his stares shoot my way. It does happen sometimes. Sometimes, his searches for me and waves at me even before I do. Sometimes, he sees me waving at him trying to catch his attention. Sometimes, he blows kisses in my direction from the queue. Sometimes, he looks for me and waves at me while marching to his class. I stay there till he is inside the class. And sometimes none of these happens. On those days my wait to wave at him, to blow a kiss, would be in vain. Forcing me to think that it is okay, not to stay back till the last minute. Forcing me to stay silent, when my husband asks me why I didn’t leave right away.

Today I have an answer for that. Today I was waiting there to get caught by his glance when he was at the playground in the queue. Then when they all were walking towards the class he looked at me, waved at me, blew kisses at me and I saw a twinkle in his eyes. And yes, that’s why I stay back. To see that happiness in his eyes when he searches for me and finds me.

I know that he will be perfectly alright even if I wasn’t present there to wave and smile back at him. I know that he understands that I have to catch the bus and I might not be able to wait for too long. But I love how happy he gets just by the sight of me. It is a small gesture, but it fills our hearts spilling with love.

On the way back, I caught my reflection on the screen of the bus window, smiling with a twinkle in my eyes. What more can I ask for?

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Vinitha
<p>I am an ex-Software engineer turned into a SAHM with a love for words. I secretly wish to be called as a writer. You can read my affair with words at Void Thoughts(http://thevoidthoughts.com) and Reflections..(https://www.vinithadileep.com)</p>

0 thoughts on “Why I stay back

  1. I know what you mean! That one look, that one wave of the hand can make you fly without a wing and can warm your heart for a long long time! Keep enjoying and savoring these moments, Vinitha! ♥

  2. Arrey, had a tear in my eye reading this. So true! Today morning itself my 7 year old son asked me – “Mamma can you drop me to school, just for today.”I asked him the reason for it since DH drops him everyday and I pick him up. He told me – Daddy does not wait for me to turn and say goodbye. I have decided to go everyday now to drop him .. till he does not postgraduate 😀

  3. That pleasure of seeing your son smile and wave off, I can surely understand how it would feel as a parent. From a child’s point of view, I remember the first time I bid goodbye to my parents when they dropped me off at my engineering institution, I could feel goosebumps and wanted to just turn around to see them one final time before the first break for holidays.

    1. Yes, Debbie, enjoying these moments now. Teenage days will be here soon. But I feel like I am not yet over my teenage days, how can I deal with my son’s teenage troubles then! 🙂 8 more years will tell that. 🙂

  4. I think it’s sweet that you and your son exchange waves and blow kisses at each other. I imagine he is quite young. When is gets older, peers will matter more to him and how they perceive him will become more important. So enjoy the present while you can. 🙂 <3

    1. He is 5 now, Elly.Yeah, now I am his most favorite person but I understand that that’s going to change as he grows up. We all were there once upon a time, weren’t we. 🙂 Thank you for stopping by.:)

  5. Aww that really was a make-you-feel-good kind of post 🙂 I still remember how my mother used to stay back like this for me and I was so happy!

  6. Such a sweet post Vinitha and the beautiful moment penned down. Now, I am really worried about the days when I didn’t turn back to wave at mom…. and that reminds me, even today when I head out from home… she reminds me and checks if I have kept all imp things.. and I never leave without our usual routine and bye! Thanks for sharing 🙂

    1. So sweet, Shashank. It is so nice to have such traditions and when adult kids still follow them, the cuteness triples! 🙂 Thank you for stopping by. 🙂

  7. This is such a sweet one and that’s how mothers are. Waiting for that twinkle and that one smile! 🙂
    Vinitha – Hugs! If you were in Bangalore, I would have just dropped by to say this 🙂

  8. This is so sweet. I’m sure it means a lot to him to know that you enjoy watching him and giving him a wave. Those days pass so quickly. It is great that you are making the most of those little moments.

    1. I am afraid of the days flying without any sense of what it is doing to us mere mortals!! Holding on to these little moments is worth all the troubles. 🙂 Thank you for stopping by, Marcy. 🙂

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